{"id":8004,"date":"2025-11-29T12:34:53","date_gmt":"2025-11-29T20:34:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/?p=8004"},"modified":"2025-11-29T12:36:06","modified_gmt":"2025-11-29T20:36:06","slug":"clubius-besieged-part-4-sock-hop-november-1966","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/2025\/11\/29\/clubius-besieged-part-4-sock-hop-november-1966\/","title":{"rendered":"Clubius Besieged Part 4 – Sock Hop (November 1966)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Because Abby told me, I knew Rose\u2019s last name was Bertram, but I still hadn\u2019t talked to her. She was in my Homeroom, but she sat in the front of the room by the door next to Myrna. I sat in the back by the windows with Lance and the other cool boys. She was kind of pretty and I just liked looking at her whenever I could, but I didn\u2019t look at her so much that Lance and the others might see me and tease me about it. Sometimes when I was looking at her she might look at me and she might smile a little bit but then look away. I guess that was good. Abby had said that Myrna had said she was shy. I didn\u2019t like to admit it, but I guess I was kind of shy too, so her being shy I guess was good.<\/p>\n

Lance, Danny and Ben would sometimes talk quietly about all the girls in the class and rate them, good and bad. The girls they thought were pretty were \u201cfoxes\u201d, but the rest of the girls who weren\u2019t were \u201cdogs\u201d. Girls that had breasts that kind of stuck out a little had \u201cnice tits\u201d. And girls that talked a lot or tried to be in charge of the other girls they said were \u201cbitches\u201d. Danny said that female dogs were even called \u201cbitches\u201d by grownups.<\/p>\n

So it was kind of like set theory. Lance said the girls with nice tits were the ones you\u2019d make out with, but if they were also dogs, you\u2019d put a paper bag over their heads before you felt them up, and if they were bitches, you\u2019d put tape over their mouths so they couldn\u2019t talk. If they didn\u2019t have nice tits, but were foxes and not bitches, those were the girls you\u2019d marry. But if the girl was in the set you\u2019d make out with, but she actually really LIKED making out, then she was also a slut.<\/p>\n

So by the rules Lance shared with us for the universe of girls in our Homeroom, the girls with nice tits – including Ginny, Ramona, Susan and even Myrna – were the ones he\u2019d make out with. Susan and Ramona were the best of them, because they were also foxes. But \u201cin a pinch\u201d he would also make out with Ginny, who wasn\u2019t very pretty, with a bag over her head, or Myrna, who was a bitch, with tape over her mouth. Since he said Susan wasn\u2019t a slut like Ramona, who he\u2019d already made out with, Susan was the one he most wanted to make out with now.<\/p>\n

Rose and Bessie were pretty, but didn\u2019t have tits, so they were the ones he said he\u2019d marry, but not the girls he\u2019d make out with. Lance said that the girls you made out with, \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t want to marry them, because too many other guys would have already felt them up.\u201d So like drinking from a bottle of pop somebody else already drank from.<\/p>\n

All Lance\u2019s endless talking made it confusing for my thinking about Rose, and that maybe I had a crush on her. I mean I\u2019d never really talked to her, maybe just a word or two when she helped the teacher hand out sheets for the Sock Hop and Rose held one out for me and said \u201chere\u201d and I took it and said \u201cthanks\u201d. She didn\u2019t seem to talk very much, but I HAD heard her answering questions Myrna asked her up in the front of the room. I\u2019d even heard her laugh once. THAT was pretty cool!<\/p>\n

So it was finally the big day, Friday, and the Sock Hop was TONIGHT from 7:00 to 9:30 in the gym. You couldn\u2019t wear your shoes because regular shoes with leather soles could scuff the floor. They said even if you wore sneakers with rubber soles, you had to take those off too. It was funny that the name of the Beatles album was \u201cRubber Soul\u201d, except \u201csoul\u201d spelled s-o-u-l, like that real inside part of your mind, instead of s-o-l-e, like the bottom of your shoe. I remembered dad had laughed the first time he saw the album cover with those words on it and said something about it being \u201cquite a metaphor\u201d.<\/p>\n

Abby had said that Rose liked me but was super shy, and Abby had made me swear that if she asked this guy Henry she liked to dance, that I had to ask Rose to dance . I had swore and we had shook hands. I mean I WANTED to ask Rose to dance, but what if she said NO and with everybody watching me. I could never go to school again, I\u2019d be too embarrassed. And Lance and Ben and Danny would think I was so uncool, or else maybe think I was still kinda cool but ROSE was a bitch. I just wanted to dance with a girl, and she was the one I wanted to dance with.<\/p>\n

So as I sat in the back of Homeroom by the windows with the cool boys, I watched her up at the front talking with Myrna and the other girls that liked Myrna, well Rose was more listening to them than talking very much. The first time she saw me looking at her she smiled but then looked away. The next time she saw me, she tried to smile again but she looked more nervous, like what was I up to and quickly looked away. Geez\u2026 asking her to dance was going to be so complicated. Was Abby telling the truth that Myrna had said that Rose actually liked me. And even if Myrna had really said that, did she really KNOW that Rose did?<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

So back home after school mom had made frozen Banquet Chicken Pot Pies and Le Sueur Peas for David and me for dinner. She had showed me how to make those kind of things myself, heating the oven to 400 degrees, putting the frozen chicken pies in for 35 minutes then setting the kitchen timer for 35 minutes, and putting the frozen bag of peas in a boiling saucepan of water for five minutes. David, who was in third grade now, could pretty much do it himself too, but she would usually make them for us at dinnertime, I think because she felt that was part of her job as a mom.<\/p>\n

Abby\u2019s mom had called on the phone and told mom that she was driving Abby to the dance and would drive me too, and mom had thanked her for doing that. I was going to wear the same clothes I had worn to school, but mom said I should wear more dressup clothes including my paisley shirt, black pants, and black leather dressup loafers, even though because it was a sock hop I would be taking them off anyway. I didn\u2019t want to embarrass myself, and maybe give Rose another reason to say no if I asked her to dance, so that\u2019s what I wore.<\/p>\n

When the doorbell rang just before 7:00, mom looked at me, did her biggest smile, and said, \u201cHave a great time sweetie\u201d, and leaned over and gave me a kiss on the forehead. It was embarrassing, but at least no one saw her do that to me except David. I went to the front door and opened it and it was Abby with her hair all nice with a bow in it and a purple dress with white flowers on it under her coat.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah I know\u201d, she said, \u201cMy mom made me wear this.\u201d I nodded and looked down at MY dressup clothes.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy mom made me wear this too\u201d, I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cFigured\u201d, she said, \u201cYou ready?\u201d I nodded.<\/p>\n

Mom came up and put her hands on my shoulders, which this time was SUPER embarrassing because Abby was there.<\/p>\n

\u201cHave a great time you two\u201d, she said, still behind me. That was pretty embarrassing too because it sounded like Abby and I were going to the dance TOGETHER, like with each other and like we were going to dance with each other, like we had a crush on each other which we didn\u2019t. I rolled my eyes and Abby saw and smiled. Her mom waved from the driver\u2019s seat of their car down across the street, with the motor going and the lights on.<\/p>\n

Mom waved back and called out to her, \u201cThanks again, Lois, I owe you one!\u201d Abby\u2019s mom waved a hand in front of her face like it was nothing.<\/p>\n

Abby and I walked down to the car and got in the back seat next to each other. Abby\u2019s mom turned and looked at us and smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook at you two, all dressed up\u201d, she said, \u201cI should get the camera and take a picture of you two!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you DARE, mom!\u201d Abby said fiercely. Then she looked at me and rolled HER eyes. I was glad that her mom said embarrassing stuff too, and it wasn\u2019t just mine.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

When we got to Tappan it was all lit up and there were lots of other cars dropping off kids.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t suppose you\u2019d let me walk you in?\u201d Abby\u2019s mom asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u201d, Abby said, \u201cNo way.\u201d Her mom laughed through her nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay\u201d, she said, \u201cHave a great time you two. I\u2019ll be back a little after 9:30 to pick you two up. Find a phone and call me if you need me to come earlier.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay mom\u201d, Abby said, starting to open the door and get out of the car. As I scooched over and got out the same door I could see her mom slowly shaking her head. We walked towards the school doors by the cafeteria. Abby\u2019s mom drove away.<\/p>\n

Abby looked over at me and said, \u201cWe probably should split up for now, so no one sees us and thinks we\u2019re together.\u201d I nodded and kind of let her walk faster than me and watched her go in the doors by herself. Then I went in.<\/p>\n

Inside there were a bunch of kids dressed up in nice clothes, so I was glad mom made me dress up. There were a couple teachers telling kids where to go, up the stairs to the gym entrance on the second floor. I\u2019d never gone into the gym that way, only from the boys\u2019 locker room on the first floor. At the door they were making all of us take off our shoes and put them in the corner of the gym by the door. Even the grownups that were there had their shoes off too. It was strange seeing everybody with only socks on, especially because most everyone was dressed up, and the teachers were grownups too.<\/p>\n

The gym was full of kids from school, a few I recognized and most that I didn\u2019t, with a grownup teacher here and there, including my Math teacher Mr Kubiak, my Unified Studies and Homeroom teacher Mrs Woods, and my French teacher Miss Hulot. The walls on the sides had balloons attached to them, and on the other side of the gym floor there were a bunch of platforms hooked together with little staircases going up to them where four older boys, like from high school, were standing with my Band teacher Mr Balfort. Two of the older boys were holding shiny colored guitars, electric guitars, like the ones I\u2019d seen on TV on \u201cAmerican Bandstand\u201d, \u201cShindig\u201d and \u201cWhere the Action Is\u201d. I got excited since I realized I had never seen a rock band for real, just on TV.<\/p>\n

It felt uncomfortable standing there by myself, when I could see that all the kids who were already there were standing and talking with groups of friends. It was like people were looking at me and saying, \u201cDoesn\u2019t he have any friends?\u201d Of course I saw Mike, because he was so tall, talking to those other two cool kids in Phys Ed, Stephan and Max. I saw Frankie, Stuart and Arthur over by the platforms where the band was. I saw Teddy, Cal and Craig over in another part of the gym, but not Billy and Gill. And I saw all the eighth and ninth grade boys, most of them looking way older than me. When any of them looked at me, it felt like they were thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s that little kid doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

I saw Lance. He, Danny and Ben were talking to Ramona and a bunch of girls who were listening to them talk and laughing, but in that girl kind of way. They seemed like they were the cool girls, because they were pretty and talked and laughed with louder voices than some of the other girls. I wondered if Lance would say they were foxes or bitches.<\/p>\n

There were LOTS of girls there, more than boys. They seemed to be standing together in bigger groups than the boys. Like one group was Abby, Beth, Myrna, Josie, Jenny, Millie and Julie – pretty much all the girls from my grade at Burns Park. Seeing Abby, I wondered if that Henry guy that SHE had a crush on was there, because I didn\u2019t even know what he looked like.<\/p>\n

I saw Rose there too, with Myrna and the rest of them. She was kind of looking around like she wasn\u2019t sure why she was there and kept trying to fix her dress. I got that crush feeling again when I looked at her, and I started worrying about swearing to Abby that I would ask Rose to dance. I wasn\u2019t sure I could actually do it, and if she was around all those other girls from Burns Park who knew me there was no way I could dare ask her.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Coop\u201d, I heard a voice call out. It was Teddy, over by the wall on the right side of the gym where most of the other boys were, waving to me. I nodded and walked towards him, feeling better that all the other kids that seemed to be looking at me saw that I had friends. Cal and Craig were standing next to him, and both of them looked like THEY weren\u2019t sure why they were there, which made me feel a little better.<\/p>\n

Teddy pointed at the platform on the far side of the gym where Frankie, Stuart and Arthur were talking to the older boys standing on the platform with their electric guitars. I had almost never seen Arthur at school, because he wasn\u2019t in any of my classes or my lunch or anything, and because there were a THOUSAND kids.<\/p>\n

Teddy said, \u201cFrankie said that Stuart and Arthur know the guys in the band. They go to Pioneer High, and he says they really rock out, especially Leon, who\u2019s their main singer and plays guitar.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cal nodded and said, \u201cYep.\u201d Craig just nodded. Arthur looked over our way, saw us and waved and walked over toward us.<\/p>\n

\u201cCool\u201d, I said to Teddy, figuring the more I could talk the more people would think I belonged there, \u201cI can\u2019t wait to hear them play, what songs they do. I never\u2026\u201d And I stopped before I said the rest of that sentence, that I\u2019d never seen a rock band before except on TV, because that would make me sound like a little kid.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever what?\u201d asked Teddy.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh\u201d, I thought fast, \u201cNever heard any high school bands.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe neither\u201d, said Cal, shaking his head, \u201cWe\u2019ll see if they\u2019re any good.\u201d Craig shook his head too.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey\u201d, said Teddy, \u201cWhat do you think of that Monkees band with the TV show and their song, \u2018Last Train to Clarksville\u2019?\u201d I\u2019d heard the song on the radio and playing on jukeboxes around town.<\/p>\n

Arthur had finally gotten to us. He said, \u201cThe Monkees? Nuh unh.\u201d He made a fist and pointed the thumb down. I\u2019d seen that in those movies about ancient Rome where the emperor points his thumb down if he thinks the one gladiator who won the match should kill the other gladiator he defeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey aren\u2019t a real band\u201d, Arthur said, \u201cThey can barely play their instruments. They just look cute on TV for all the adoring girls who scream, like they do with the Beatles.\u201d He pointed at the older boys with their guitars up on the platform. \u201cNow THESE guys can play their instruments, they\u2019re really good, especially Leon, but all of them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the name of their band?\u201d Cal asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey told me\u201d, said Arthur, \u201cBut I\u2019m not remembering. Something like \u2018Goon Squad\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCool\u201d, said Cal, nodding. Teddy and I said \u201cCool\u201d too and nodded. Finally Craig said, \u201cI LIKE the Monkees!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy dear boy\u201d, said Arthur, shaking his head slowly and snorting a sort of laugh through his nose, \u201cYou need a whole musical education that I do not have time to give you right now.\u201d Craig wrinkled his nose and looked kind of mad, but didn\u2019t say anything. I kind of liked the Monkees too, but I wasn\u2019t going to say anything after what Arthur said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou guys remember my sister Ginny?\u201d he said, \u201cShe\u2019s the drummer Mitch’s girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo they make out?\u201d asked Teddy. I couldn\u2019t figure out WHY he\u2019d think to ask that, but I WAS curious what Arthur would answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll over the place\u201d, Arthus said, \u201cWhenever they think no one is looking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWow\u201d, said Teddy, \u201cSo you spy on her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI almost don\u2019t need to\u201d, Arthur said shaking his head, \u201cHe\u2019s always got his hands all over her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe feels her up?\u201d Cal asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cBigtime\u201d, Arthur said, nodding and opening his eyes really wide.<\/p>\n

\u201cLike up here?\u201d Teddy asked, putting his hand in front of his chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah\u201d, Arthur said, \u201cThey\u2019re called \u2018tits\u2019 Teddy, and my sister\u2019s got big ones.\u201d<\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t talked to Arthur in a long time, and he seemed to have changed. He was still into music, and played guitar, and played cello in Cadet Orchestra here at Tappan. But he knew all the sex stuff now, probably because he had a way older sister. I wondered if he would be asking some girl to dance tonight.<\/p>\n

\u201cThird base too\u201d, Arthur said, like he was a super cool kid that knew everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThird base too?\u201d asked Teddy, amazed, \u201cLike you mean down there?\u201d He pointed a finger down between his legs.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh I\u2019m sure\u201d, said Arthur, \u201cTotally sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, have you seen them?\u201d asked Teddy.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot exactly\u201d, said Arthur.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen how can you be sure?\u201d asked Teddy.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause he\u2019s always touching the top part of her body and then moving his hands down lower\u201d, said Arthur, \u201cBut then she stops him and says something like \u2018not here\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Teddy finally stopped asking and thought about that. I looked over at Rose across the gym with Myrna and couldn\u2019t even imagine doing that to her either up there or down below.<\/p>\n

A loud voice came through the speakers. It was Mr Balfort, standing on the platform at the microphone stand. \u201cWelcome everybody to Tappan\u2019s fall Sock Hop. Does everyone have their shoes off?\u201d A bunch of kids nodded and others cheered.<\/p>\n

One older boy called out, \u201cYeah\u2026 we can see Cindy Sharp\u2019s cute feet!\u201d It looked like Mr Balfort pretended he didn\u2019t hear that and continued to talk into the microphone.<\/p>\n

“Friedrich Nietzsche\u201d, he said, \u201cWho you probably won\u2019t learn about until high school, once said, \u2018Without music, life would be a mistake.\u2019”<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s he, the ninth grade counselor?\u201d some older boy called out.<\/p>\n

\u201cVery funny\u201d, said Mr Balfort, slowly nodding his head, but he didn\u2019t SOUND like he thought it was very funny.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay then\u201d, he said, clapping his hands together, a thing grownups seemed to do a lot when they were trying to keep in charge of things, but kids never did.<\/p>\n

\u201cWithout further ado\u201d, he said, \u201cLet\u2019s welcome, from Pioneer High all the way down Stadium Boulevard, featuring Tappan alumnae Jason Stedman, who played trombone in our Concert Band two years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mr Balfort looked at the kids in the band on the platform behind him, \u201cThough he doesn\u2019t appear to be playing trombone tonight.\u201d The older kid in the band behind him with the bass guitar shook his head.<\/p>\n

Some older boy behind me called out, \u201cJust let \u2018em play Mr B!\u201d<\/p>\n

Now Mr Balfort looked kind of mad, and looked for the kid who had just said that and said, \u201cThat\u2019s pretty rude, son!\u201d I looked around and a lot of the boys, the older ones and the cool seventh graders were shaking their heads or rolling their eyes.<\/p>\n

I could see the Orchestra teacher, Mr Denisov, say something to Mr. Balfort, who then nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo without further ado, here\u2019s \u2018Goon Squad\u2019…\u201d He kind of wrinkled his nose when he said their name. But then that Jason kid said something to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy mistake\u201d, he said, seeming kind of mad, which was how he often was in Band class, \u201cGoon SQUID!\u201d<\/p>\n

That Jason guy walked up to the microphone stand and said, \u201cHey, thank you Mr Balfort for letting us play at your sock hop. It feels really strange to be back here. And I still play trombone too, but most rock bands don\u2019t need a trombone player.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about the Sunliners?\u201d some older boy called out.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yeah, them, I guess\u201d, Jason said. He backed away from the microphone stand and looked at that Leon guy, the other guitar player. Leon looked back at the drummer behind him who raised up his drumsticks and clicked them together four times. Leon and Jason looked at each other and started playing their guitars, loud but loud sounded good, then the drummer started drumming and the fourth guy in the band, playing one of those electric organ things, started playing too. Leon, playing his guitar, walked up to the microphone and started to sing\u2026<\/p>\n

I\u2032d like to tell you ’bout my baby
\nYou know she comes around
\nJust \u2032bout five-feet, four
\nAll from her head to the ground
\nKnow she comes around here
\nJust about midnight
\nMakes me feel so good
\nMakes me feel alright<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It was that \u201cGloria\u201d song. I\u2019d heard it many times on the radio and jukeboxes. It was about this girl I guess he had a crush on and they would make out together at night, maybe even do real sex stuff. A lot of the older girls started dancing with other girls, or just dancing by themselves. It looked like a lot of the seventh grade girls were looking at the dancing older girls and wondering if they might like to, or should be dancing too.<\/p>\n

None of the boys were really dancing, though some were kind of moving back and forth to the beat. I guess a lot of us had seen those dancing shows on TV, like \u201cAmerican Bandstand\u201d, \u201cHullabaloo\u201d, \u201cShindig\u201d, and “Where the Action Is\u201d. On those shows most girls danced with boys, though some girls danced with other girls. Boys NEVER danced with other boys on TV, I guess that would make them look like sissies.<\/p>\n

A few of the older boys had I guess already asked a girl to dance so they started dancing with them, but just a few. Most of the cool boys, particularly the seventh grade ones, weren\u2019t dancing yet, and I saw Ramona with her fists on her waist looking mad and talking to Lance on the other side of the gym. I couldn\u2019t hear what she was saying to him, but it looked like he wasn\u2019t doing what she wanted to do. Then she grabbed his hand and tried to pull him out where other kids were dancing. He made a funny face and shook his head. She finally threw his hand back at him and walked real fast away from him toward the gym doors on that side, like maybe she was going to leave. A couple of her girl friends ran after her looking like they were trying to stop her.<\/p>\n

The \u201cGloria\u201d song had that chorus part where the guy singing called out the letters of her name. I knew it was coming and I think a lot of the other kids there did too. Leon sang\u2026<\/p>\n

And her name is\u2026<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

He started calling out the letters, one at a time, one measure of the music at a time. Because of Band class, I could tell the song was in 4\/4, which meant four beats to a measure and each quarternote got one beat. First he said \u201cG\u201d, my mind counting the \u201c2, 3, 4\u201d. Then when he said the \u201cL\u201d, a few of the older boys called it out with him. A few of the older girls joined in too when he said the \u201cO\u201d. And a few more for the \u201cR\u201d. Then for the next measure they all sang \u201caye, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi\u201d, which I had always thought was one of the coolest parts of the song.<\/p>\n

The rest of us, boys and girls, who hadn\u2019t sung along yet, looked around like it would be fun for us to do that too, and I think most of us, who knew the song, knew we\u2019d have one more chance on the second chorus. Jason, playing bass guitar, moved up to the microphone stand next to Leon singing, who called out the letters quickly in a loud choppy voice, and Jason sang the name after him\u2026<\/p>\n

G-L-O-R-I-A (Gloria)
\nG-L-O-R-I-A (Gloria)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Then Leon sang the next two lines with Jason singing the name at the end\u2026<\/p>\n

I’m gonna shout all night (Gloria)
\nI’m gonna shout it at every place (Gloria)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It was really cool to watch kids like us actually singing a real rock song from the radio like they were a real band, like we were in charge now.<\/p>\n

I also wondered if the guy who wrote the song really liked Gloria, or just had a serious crush on her. It seemed like some guys wanted to make out with girls, maybe even have sex with them, that they didn\u2019t really like very much, but because they had a nice body, were pretty, and would say yes to doing stuff like that, even though some people might call them sluts.<\/p>\n

So Leon sang the second verse, which was pretty much the same words as the first except it ended with\u2026<\/p>\n

Why don\u2032t you come up to my house?
\nKnock upon my door
\nAnd then she called out my name
\nThat made me feel alright<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So it made him feel alright that she called out his name, like she really had a crush on HIM too, because for sure it sounded like he had a crush on HER.<\/p>\n

So the second time Leon called out all the letters lots of us called them out too, even some of the girls. And at the end of the song some kids yelled out \u201cyeah\u201d and others just yelled out and everybody clapped. Leon nodded at the microphone stand and said, \u201cThanks folks. We\u2019re the Goon Squid. And this is just our second paid gig like EVER.\u201d He pointed at Mr Balfort and said, \u201cThanks again to Mr Balfort\u201d, and then looking out at the crowd, \u201cAnd Arthur Newman and Julian Katz for recommending us, wherever you guys are.\u201d This older kid held up two fingers in one of those peace signs and Arthur waved from where he was by us.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut onward\u201d, Leon said, and he looked at Jason who started playing these low notes on his bass guitar, and then the drummer joined in, and finally Leon with his guitar and the organ player too. Then he and Jason moved up to the microphone stand and sang in harmony a song I couldn\u2019t remember hearing before\u2026<\/p>\n

Eight miles high, and when you touch down
\nYou’ll find that it’s stranger than known
\nSigns in the street, that say where you’re going
\nAre somewhere just being their own<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It was hard to understand the words, and the ones I understood didn\u2019t make much sense, but I kind of nodded my head to the music. I looked across the gym and saw Rose and Myrna with the other girls. Rose was kind of nodding her head to the music too, I wondered if she\u2019d heard the song before.<\/p>\n

I was trying to figure out HOW I was going to ask her to dance, especially since she was hanging out with Myrna, who I always thought hated me until Abby told me that Myrna used to actually LIKE me and was super mad when I did the pencil thing last year. I couldn\u2019t think of anything better than just to go up to Rose and ask, \u201cDo you want to dance?\u201d, but maybe I should be over on that side near her but kind of somewhere where they didn\u2019t see me and maybe wait until Myrna left her by herself for a minute. But wouldn\u2019t they notice me on that side that was still mostly girls? And geez, what if she said no!<\/p>\n

The song finished and kids clapped but nobody yelled \u201cyeah\u201d or anything like that. I could see Leon looked worried.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo\u2026\u201d, he said into the microphone, \u201cGuess nobody knew that one.\u201d He looked at the other guys in the band and they all shrugged their shoulders. This one older boy by the platform raised his hand and waved it.<\/p>\n

Leon laughed through his nose and said, \u201cJulian, of course YOU know it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Some older boy yelled out, \u201cPlay \u2018Last Train to Clarksville\u2019!\u201d I could see Leon laughing through his nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? Monkees?\u201d he said, \u201cNever!\u201d<\/p>\n

He swung his head back and looked at the drummer and nodded, and that guy held up his drum sticks again and clicked them together four times, and then he beat hard on his drums while the other three kind of banged on their instruments to the same beat.<\/p>\n

Buh duh duh duh duh duh buh duh duh duh duh duh<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Then Leon, Jason and the organ guy started marching in place as they played their instruments, Leon then marching up to the microphone stand and starting singing\u2026<\/p>\n

Shapes
\nOf things before my eyes
\nJust teach me to despise
\nWill time make men more wise?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Then again, all four of them banging away on their drums, organ and guitars\u2026<\/p>\n

Buh duh duh duh duh duh buh duh duh duh duh duh<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cOoo the Yardbirds\u201d, said Arthur, still with us, his eyes twinkling with excitement, \u201cI LOVE that song.\u201d<\/p>\n

Teddy rolled his eyes and shook his head slowly, looked at Arthur and asked, \u201cAre the Yardbirds British?\u201d Arthur nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cFigured\u201d, Teddy said, smiling, as Leon started singing the second verse as he looked out at all of us and asked the song\u2019s question\u2026<\/p>\n

Here
\nWithin my lonely frame
\nMy eyes just hurt my brain
\nBut will it seem the same?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I remembered when Mike had come over the day before we went to Cape Cod last August, and brought the forty five of this song so I could hear it. August seemed like forever ago when I was still a kid with an okay life, even though mom and dad were divorced. But now\u2026<\/p>\n

Come tomorrow, will I be older?
\nCome tomorrow, maybe a soldier
\nCome tomorrow, may I be bolder than today?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I thought about all those older kids protesting on campus, the US sending all those other older kid soldiers to Vietnam to fight and thousands of them had got killed. Mike said we all needed to be out there protesting, resisting, saying no to \u201cthe man\u201d, being \u201cbolder than today\u201d.<\/p>\n

I looked across the gym and found where Rose was, Myrna still with her. I had to get over to that side so I would be close enough to walk up to Rose and ask her when the chance came. I looked at the group of friends I was with and I didn\u2019t want them to ask where I was going.<\/p>\n

\u201cI gotta take a leak\u201d, I said, which was about the coolest way I could think to say that, and a couple of them looked at me and nodded as they also nodded along to the beat of the song. So I headed on my own now back toward the doors to the gym on the far side as the song continued, and again the chorus\u2026<\/p>\n

Come tomorrow, will I be older?
\nCome tomorrow, may be a soldier
\nCome tomorrow, may I be bolder than today?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Geez\u2026 I wanted to be a hell of a lot bolder than I was today, that\u2019s for sure. Leon did the guitar solo but it sounded kind of screechy and I could see all the band members wince. At least he was bold enough to try. I thought of Mike again when Leon sang the last verse, three of them in the band marching again while they played and he sang\u2026<\/p>\n

Soon, I hope that I will find
\nThoughts deep within my mind
\nThat won’t disgrace my kind<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The song ended and people clapped harder and the \u201cyeah\u201ds and other cheers were back. I was by those gym doors now and I saw Miss Hulot, my French teacher, who was standing there, the grownup in charge there and telling kids to take off their shoes and where to put them. She saw me and smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you doing, Cooper\u201d, she said, speaking with that French accent that some of the boys said was \u201csexy\u201d.<\/p>\n

I nodded and said, \u201cOkay.\u201d I looked over to where Rose and Myrna were, not far from where I was now. They were not really dancing but kind of moving their bodies and looking around, but didn\u2019t see me.<\/p>\n

Maybe talking to Miss Hulot was a good way to be on this side of the gym where most of the girls were. The girls and boys WERE starting to mix together some, groups of boys together wandering over to the girls side. Some boys and girls were even dancing together now. I couldn\u2019t help but notice Mike, because he was so tall, dancing with this tall girl, I think her name was Arlene. I noticed Beth dancing with some boy, also Josie, and even Alice, who was dancing with a boy who kind of looked like a hippy like she did.<\/p>\n

The band started up their next song, again the drummer clicking his drum sticks together in the air four times, and all four of them banging on their instruments, but the guy on the organ playing a tune while the others kept banging. Finally Leon turned to the microphone and sang\u2026<\/p>\n

What you want
\nHoney you’ve got it
\nAnd what you need
\nBaby you’ve got it
\nAll I’m asking
\nIs for a little respect when I come home<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I\u2019d heard that song many times, though I still wasn\u2019t sure what \u201crespect\u201d meant. Was it more like being nice, or more like following orders.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you like the band?\u201d Miss Hulot asked, startling me, \u201cThey seem quite good for high school students.\u201d I nodded again, but that seemed pretty lame. If I was going to ask Rose to dance, I at least had to be able to have a conversation with Miss Hulot, which gave me some reason to be over there so it didn\u2019t look like I was just lurking around Rose and Myrna. I mean I WAS lurking around Rose and Myrna, but I didn\u2019t want to LOOK LIKE I was.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u201d, I finally said to Miss Hulot, \u201cThey play their instruments really well, especially the organ player guy.\u201d And then I got up the courage to add, \u201cDon\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded and smiled and said in French, \u201cOui. Il est tr\u00e8s bon. Ils le sont tous.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIl est tr\u00e8s magnifique\u201d, I said, and she laughed a little through her nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cForgive me, I\u2019m so bad\u201d, she said, \u201cBravo\u2026 you are trying to speak French, though I might say instead, \u2018Il est VRAIMENT magnifique\u2019, \u2018He is TRULY magnificent\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

I nodded and said \u201cOui\u201d and looked again over to where Myrna and Rose were, I guess hoping that someone would ask maybe Myrna to dance, and then Rose would be all alone and it would be easier for me to ask her. I could tell that Rose saw me, though she didn\u2019t wave or anything, but she turned back and said something quietly to Myrna, who kind of looked in my direction for a second but then looked away.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you going to ask anyone to dance?\u201d Miss Hulot asked, surprising me again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d, I said, not looking at her and shrugging my shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cI would dance\u201d, she said, \u201cBut I think I\u2019m a little old for you.\u201d THAT was embarrassing, and I couldn\u2019t believe she said that, but at least nobody around us seemed to hear it.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The band had finished playing their first bunch of songs and was taking a short break and I STILL hadn\u2019t asked Rose to dance, though I think maybe she and Myrna were wondering what I was up to. While I was standing not too far from them, Mike had come by to say hi, and he had Arlene with him, and the three of us had talked about the band and the songs. Arlene had said that she actually asked MIKE to dance, and I thought to myself, only Mike was SO cool and SO nice that a girl would actually ask HIM to dance.<\/p>\n

Then the band started up again, with Leon playing a super loud wailing note on his guitar, followed by the four of them banging on their instruments to the beat. Most of us kids could tell by that beat and the notes they were playing that the song was \u201cWild Things\u201d by the Troggs. Some boys cheered, and the energy of the music made most everybody move, though only some kids, girls and boys or girls with other girls, were dancing.<\/p>\n

Mike and Arlene started dancing next to me, and Mike said if I wasn\u2019t going to dance with anyone else I should dance with them. I didn\u2019t want to say no to Mike, and the pounding song almost forced you to move your body, so I started kind of moving around. I didn\u2019t really know how to do a particular DANCE, like the Twist or the Watusi, but I looked around and most everybody else who was dancing didn\u2019t either. But I made sure to only KIND OF dance and not point myself towards Mike or Arlene, so it didn\u2019t really look like I was dancing with THEM, particularly with HER. I didn\u2019t want Rose to see me dancing, like maybe I\u2019d asked some other girl to dance. I peeked over at Rose and she was kind of dancing, not so much WITH Myrna but more NEXT TO her.<\/p>\n

The next song was \u201cI\u2019m Losing You\u201d by the Temptations, the first slow song the band had played. Leon kind of moaned into the microphone\u2026<\/p>\n

Your love is fading, I can feel your love fading
\nGirl, it’s fading away from me
\n‘Cause your touch, your touch has grown cold
\nAs if someone else controls your very soul
\nI’ve fooled myself long as I can
\nCan feel the presence of another man<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The song always brought goosebumps up on my arms, especially the chorus parts, in this case with all those loud sad chords on the organ, like the whole world was coming apart\u2026<\/p>\n

It’s there when you speak my name
\nIt’s just not the same
\nOoh baby, I’m losing you
\nIt’s in the air
\nIt’s everywhere
\nOoh baby, I’m losing you<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The older boys and girls, who had been dancing apart during the regular songs, who I guess knew more about dancing, moved towards each other and put their hands on each other\u2019s waists, or shoulders, or one of each. Some held each other’s bodies still apart, while others just kind of hugged each other. You could see the seventh-grade boys and girls, seeing the older kids slow dancing like that, starting to do it too. Mike and Arlene each put one hand on the other\u2019s shoulder and the other hand on the other\u2019s waist, like they knew what they were doing. I saw Lance and Ramona dancing, after it seemed earlier that she was mad at him and had left the gym. I just kind of swayed to the music and kind of glanced over at Rose and Myrna again.<\/p>\n

Rose was there, swaying to the music too, but Myrna wasn\u2019t, and I couldn\u2019t see her anywhere. I wondered if someone had asked her to dance, or she had to go to the bathroom or something. I realized that it was getting late and the band might not play that much longer. It hit me that if I didn\u2019t ask Rose to dance pretty soon, I\u2019d miss my chance, and from then on, she\u2019d think I didn\u2019t like her, even though Abby had said that Myrna had thought that maybe Rose liked me. I wouldn\u2019t be able to even LOOK at her in Homeroom, not even a little bit like I did now. And if we DID happen to look at each other by accident, she wouldn\u2019t smile at me anymore. But given all that, we were in the middle of a SLOW song, and if I asked her and she said okay, we would have to slow dance, touch each other for our first dance together.<\/p>\n

I know it’s true
\nThere’s someone new
\nOh baby, baby, baby, I’m losing you<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Finally the song ended. The mostly older kids around me who were slow dancing with each other stopped holding each other and clapped. Leon strummed his guitar in a loud chord.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, enough of that\u201d, he said, and then trying to sound kind of wild, \u201cHow bout some more rock n roll!\u201d Lots of boys yelled, a few girls too. Ramona put one finger in her mouth from each hand and made a loud whistling noise.<\/p>\n

I looked at Rose standing there all by herself, about ten feet from me, looking worried, but then she was looking back at me and she smiled and gave the littlest wave with her hand. Suddenly I felt the fear of NOT asking her become more than the fear of asking. I took a step towards her, and I saw her eyes take note of that. And just as I called out to ask her to dance, that Leon guy banged out the first four chords to the Kinks \u201cAll Day and All of the Night\u201d on his guitar. Most of the other kids recognized the song too and many of them yelled again and it felt like a bolt of electricity went through the giant room.<\/p>\n

Rose, now looking at me and suddenly looking worried, said, \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

I was committed now, but it felt good to not be able to turn back.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want to dance?\u201d I asked again. The look on her face changed but it was still kind of worried.<\/p>\n

\u201cWith you?\u201d she asked. Did she want to dance, but not with me? I felt a pain in my stomach, and I just looked at her for a second but managed to get myself to nod.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay\u201d, she finally said, nodding fast, and the absolute relief washed over me as the rest of the band joined in with their instruments.<\/p>\n

She turned to face me, about four feet away, and looked down at the floor and started to shuffle her body back and forth, which made me feel better, because I could tell that she didn\u2019t really know how to dance either.<\/p>\n

I faced her, and started to move my body back and forth, trying to remember what my babysitter Margie had taught me about dancing to rock music, like somehow making my hips looser. But soon it really hit me that I was actually dancing\u2026 dancing with a GIRL. A GIRL! She\u2019d said yes and we were dancing. I could feel my arms shivering and the goosebumps came up. She finally looked up from the floor at me and smiled again, this time not looking so worried, and then she looked down again as Leon’s voice came loud and sharp over the speakers. With each line his voice got sharper, and the band got louder behind him\u2026<\/p>\n

I’m not content to be with you in the daytime
\nGirl, I want to be with you all of the time
\nThe only time I feel alright is by your side
\nGirl, I want to be with you all of the time<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The words made total sense. During the day we were in Homeroom together but could barely even look at each other. It was nighttime now and everything was different, and jeez I felt alright by her side. And then Jason\u2019s voice joined in\u2026<\/p>\n

All day and all of the night<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

With both Leon and Jason singing that last line real loud together, I could just feel the energy of all the kids in the gym, especially all the ones dancing, imagining what those words meant, not war between boys and girls but something completely different, being TOGETHER ALL THE TIME, and everything different that could mean.<\/p>\n

Rose and I didn\u2019t even really look at each other at that point, that just seemed way too intense, like if I looked at her while he was singing the words it would be like I was saying them to her. We were just happy to be dancing with someone instead of just standing there feeling like we were alone and stupid\u2026<\/p>\n

I believe that you and me last forever
\nOh yeah, all day and nighttime yours, leave me never<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The words were visions of being married, sleeping together, making out and even having sex, and neither of us could look at the other while he sang them and they crashed through our minds.<\/p>\n

Finally it got to the point of the guitar solo, Leon\u2019s guitar screeched away, going up and down the notes, not quite as nice as the real song, but we didn\u2019t care. He was a KID, like US, taking charge, and we yelled and cheered when he was done, and then again after the band banged out the last four chords of the song.<\/p>\n

Rose and I stopped dancing and we tried to look at each other, but I was afraid she would see all the feelings I was feeling on my face, which felt too embarrassing, and it felt like she was feeling maybe the same way, so we both turned toward the band and clapped. The drummer immediately raised his drum sticks over his head and clicked them together four times and the organ player banged out a whole set of chords that I didn\u2019t recognize. Then the rest of the band joined in and Leon approached the microphone stand and sang\u2026<\/p>\n

You think we look pretty good together
\nYou think my shoes are made of leather
\nBut I’m a substitute for another guy
\nI look pretty tall but my heels are high
\nThe simple things you see are all complicated
\nLook pretty young, but I’m just back dated, yeah<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I\u2019d heard the song a couple times on jukeboxes but didn\u2019t really know it very well, or even who did it, but now, hearing the lyrics again, it seemed like the older boy in the song was worried about what other kids thought of him, especially his girlfriend. I wondered if after dancing like this, Rose and I were supposed to become boyfriend and girlfriend, but I don\u2019t think I was ready for that, I still really hadn\u2019t TALKED to her. But she seemed to like dancing with me so that made me feel good. I liked dancing with her too, and I could tell that she was really shy, so that was okay. More words from the song caught my attention as Rose and I continued to dance among other kids around us\u2026<\/p>\n

And now you dare to look me in the eye
\nThose crocodile tears are what you cry
\nIt’s a genuine problem, you won’t try
\nTo work it out at all you just pass it by, pass it by<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The boy in the song getting angry at his girlfriend surprised me and made me worried, even scared. Was this the kind of thing that happened between boyfriends and girlfriends? Lance had said that Ramona had been his girlfriend over the summer and he bragged to us that they made out or even got to third base. But then he teased her in Homeroom, with Ben, Danny and even me helping him, by calling her a \u201cslut\u201d, which made her really angry, which made sense that she would be. Tonight earlier in the sock hop I\u2019d seen Ramona with Lance, then she got mad at him and left the gym. But now she was back and dancing with him. Why did she even like him anymore after he called her a slut?<\/p>\n

Substitute me for him
\nSubstitute my Coke for gin
\nSubstitute you for my mom
\nAt least I’ll get my washing done
\nSubstitute your lies for fact
\nI can see right through your plastic mac
\nI look all white, but my dad was black
\nMy fine looking suit is really made out of sack<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I knew what Coke and gin were, and substituting lies for fact, but the rest of the lyrics confused me, and I was glad when the song finally ended.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right\u201d, said Leon to the microphone, \u201cHere\u2019s another slow one for you to dance close to your girl or your guy.\u201d A shiver went through my body. Would Rose and I slow dance touching each other?<\/p>\n

He played a long slow chord on his guitar and then the organ player played the melody and the drummer tapped lightly on the drums. It was the beginning of \u201cCherish\u201d by the Association\u2026<\/p>\n

Cherish is the word I use to describe
\nAll the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The pairs of girls and boys dancing around us moved close to each other with hands reaching out for the other\u2019s waist and shoulders. Not wanting to be continuing to dance apart while everyone around us was getting close, I took a not so sure step towards Rose and then she took one towards me, which I figured meant that we should slow dance close like others around us. I\u2019d seen on shows on TV, even cartoons, with a man and woman, or even Bugs Bunny and a female rabbit, starting one of those Tango dances where the man grabbed the woman around her waist and pulled her against him, one arm wrapped around her while the other grabbed her outstretched hand. But this wasn\u2019t that.<\/p>\n

You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I had told you
\nYou don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could hold you<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rose and I looked at what the others were doing around us. When we got closer I dared to put my hand on her shoulder. It felt warm and like electricity running through my body, but then WAY more so when she put her hand on that side on my side above my hip, and she put her other hand on my other shoulder, and my other hand went around HER waist. There was a strange urge to pull her body against mine, I don\u2019t know where THAT came from, but I resisted it. We were about a foot apart, hands holding shoulders and waists. We both looked down at our feet, and I wasn\u2019t sure if that was to make sure we were doing everything right with our hands and our feet, or that we still just couldn\u2019t look at each other in the eyes, that would be WAY too intense.<\/p>\n

Perish is the word that more than applies
\nTo the hope in my heart each time I realize
\nThat I am not gonna be the one to share your dreams<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Those were the words that reminded me of dad, and mom and dad getting divorced. And then, like in the \u201cSubstitute\u201d song, when he gets disappointed with her\u2026<\/p>\n

That I am not gonna be the one to share your schemes
\nThat I am not gonna be the one to share what
\nSeems to be the life that you could cherish as much as I do yours<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I never understood that last line. Shouldn\u2019t it be \u201cas much as I do YOU\u201d? Like he cherished HER, but she only cherished her life of schemes. But mostly, it was just sad that they couldn\u2019t figure it out, like mom and dad couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

An older boy and girl dancing next to us had pressed their bodies together as they danced, the sides of their faces even touching. I saw it and could see that Rose had too. I was wondering if that is why I\u2019d had that feeling of pulling her against me, but would she think I was bad if I did that. There was no way I\u2019d risk that. Rose seemed okay dancing the way we were now, about a foot apart. I was too, I guess. I mean it was close enough that I could feel the energy of her body, even though I couldn\u2019t feel her actual body against me, well, just where my one hand touched her shoulder and the other her waist. Touching her waist, feeling that part of her body through her dress felt, it was that word that grownups used and was in some of the stories I was reading, \u201cintimate\u201d.<\/p>\n

Oh I’m beginning to think that man has never found
\nThe words that could make you want me
\nThat have the right amount of letters, just the right sound
\nThat could make you hear, make you see
\nThat you are drivin’ me out of my mind<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I thought of dad again, and how it seemed he\u2019d never really figured mom out. That kind of made sense, because I was having trouble trying to figure her out now too, why she was so sad and mad all the time and why she just sat on her bed watching TV all the time.<\/p>\n

Oh I could say I need you but then you’d realize
\nThat I want you just like a thousand other guys
\nWho’d say they loved you with all the rest of their lies
\nWhen all they wanted was to touch your face, your hands
\nAnd gaze into your eyes<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So older boys would tell lies just to get intimate with a girl like that who was really pretty and really nice too. Probably to make out with them too. If I was older would I want to make out with Rose? She was probably a year older than I was, would she already want to make out with me? If she told me she wanted to, could I even do it?<\/p>\n

And I do cherish you
\nAnd I do cherish you
\nCherish is the word<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And the song was over. I let go of her shoulder and waist, but she still touched mine for another second or two until she did the same. What did that mean?<\/p>\n

She finally looked up and looked at me looking at her and said, \u201cYou\u2019re a good dancer.\u201d<\/p>\n

How could I be a good dancer, I thought, I never danced like this before. Mom had taught me that \u201cfoxtrot\u201d dance when I was little, but that wasn\u2019t anything like the way we were dancing. Whether or not she was right, I figured I better say the same thing to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a good dancer too\u201d, I said. I didn\u2019t know enough about dancing to know if she really was or not, but I figured she just said it to me to be nice, so I should say it to her too, and it at least made her smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks\u201d, she said, it was the first time I saw her eyes twinkle, \u201cI like to dance. I wasn\u2019t sure you were going to actually ask me.\u201d That last thing worried me, like she had been waiting for me to ask her to dance since the beginning of the sock hop, like she maybe totally had a crush on me or something.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t sure what to say to that, but the band started their next song so I didn\u2019t have to. First it was the organ player playing the opening notes and I recognized the song right away. It was that band that always dressed up like Revolutionary War soldiers that I\u2019d seen on that \u201cWhere the Action Is\u201d show. Then Jason playing the bass guitar started playing and finally the drummer joined in. And then Leon kind of growled into the microphone like he was angry\u2026<\/p>\n

Girl, you thought you found the answer
\nOn that magic carpet ride last night<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I wondered if \u201cmagic carpet ride\u201d meant making out, or even sex\u2026<\/p>\n

But when you wake up in the mornin’
\nThe world still gets you uptight<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rose seemed to be dancing with more energy now, not just swaying back and forth, not so shy, but moving her arms up and down like she was getting \u201cinto it\u201d, like some older kids would say. I remember seeing kids dance like that on those music shows. I wasn\u2019t sure what to do but I tried to do what she was doing with her arms. Though I felt kind of stupid, I felt I\u2019d be more stupid just swaying back and forth like I was doing before\u2026<\/p>\n

Well, there’s nothin’ that you ain’t tried
\nTo fill the emptiness inside
\nWhen you come back down, girl
\nStill ain’t feelin’ right<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It was another song about a guy worrying about a girl who thought maybe she was super cool but then found out that she wasn\u2019t. That seemed to be what a lot of songs were about, like with the Beatles\u2026<\/p>\n

And don’t it seem like
\nKicks just keep gettin’ harder to find
\nAnd all your kicks ain’t bringin’ you peace of mind
\nBefore you find out it’s too late, girl
\nYou better get straight
\nNo, but not with kicks, you just need help, girl<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I\u2019d never used that \u201ckicks\u201d word like that, but I\u2019d heard older kids and grownups use it, say \u201cget your kicks\u201d, like have your fun. Even some of my friends said that, trying to sound cool. In the song it seemed like more complicated girlfriend boyfriend stuff, but Rose seemed to be getting HER \u201ckicks\u201d dancing, so I just tried not to think too much and danced with her.<\/p>\n

Then there was one of those \u201cInterludes\u201d, that\u2019s what our Band teacher, Mr Balfort would call it, where the song slowed way down, so much so that both Rose and I stopped the dancing for a minute. Leon sang, not as loud and slowly shaking his head\u2026<\/p>\n

No, you don’t need kicks
\nTo help you face the world each day
\nThat road goes nowhere
\nI’m gonna help you find yourself another way<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I don\u2019t think either of us knew what those kind of \u201ckicks\u201d were, like maybe something you liked doing but was bad to other people, but once the interlude was over and the regular song started back up, Rose and I were back to our dancing with the arms up and down. It was kind of cool that we sort of stopped and started at the same time, like we weren\u2019t on opposite teams, like Molly and I used to feel. Finally the song was over and her cheeks were kind of red and her forehead just a little bit sweaty and I could kind of smell her too, but that was all really cool, because she was getting \u201cinto it\u201d. We both clapped at the end of the song, but she clapped not like \u201coh that was nice\u201d, but more like \u201cthat was really cool\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks!\u201d that Leon guy said into the microphone, \u201cThis next one I worked on all afternoon to get the opening just right. Wish me luck!\u201d He turned a knob on his guitar and his fingers plucked the beginning notes of a song. I recognized it as \u201cPaint it Black\u201d by the Rolling Stones. Then the drummer banged on two of his drums eight times before the organ and bass guitar joined in and Leon moaned out the words like he was really angry, though I don\u2019t think he really was\u2026<\/p>\n

I see a red door
\nAnd I want it painted black
\nNo colors anymore
\nI want them to turn black<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I had no idea what the words of the song were talking about, I don\u2019t think Rose did either, but we kind of pretended that we were feeling them as we started to dance with each other, making kind of pretend angry faces, like we were letting the music tell us.<\/p>\n

But after that one was another slow song, \u201cWalk Away Renee\u201d. The organ player did most of the music playing, with just a little bit of drums and notes on the bass guitar, with Leon at the microphone singing\u2026<\/p>\n

And when I see the sign,
\nthat points one way
\nThe light we used to pass by,
\nevery day<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

We moved up to each other to slow dance again. Rose said, \u201cI LOVE this song, but it\u2019s so sad!\u201d Again, she rested her left hand on my right shoulder and put her right hand on my waist, but maybe more around it than before. We still couldn\u2019t look at each other when we slow danced, and she looked off to the left of me, but it felt like she was more relaxed than the first slow dance.<\/p>\n

But when we got to the last verse I was surprised that she pressed her body against mine, wrapped her arms around my back, and turned her head and rested it against my shoulder\u2026<\/p>\n

Your name and mine inside
\na heart upon a wall
\nStill finds a way to haunt me,
\nthough they’re so small<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I don\u2019t remember EVER being so close to another person, well maybe when mom hugged me, but not another kid, not even Molly. Rose\u2019s hair smelled nice, like flowers, and I felt the energy all over her warm body against mine as our feet slowly shuffled back and forth. And then for the final chorus I just forgot about the rest of the world and let the words flow through us pressed against each other\u2026<\/p>\n

Just walk away Renee,
\nYou won’t see me follow you back home
\nThe empty sidewalks on my block are not the same
\nYou’re not to blame<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The song ended. It was a second or two before she moved herself away from me and actually raised her head looked into my eyes with hers. I could tell in her eyes that she was thinking a bunch of stuff at once. She tried to smile at me but it looked like there was too much going on inside her mind.<\/p>\n

Leon was up at the microphone, looking around like he was looking for someone. \u201cWhere\u2019s Balfort?\u201d he asked. That Jason guy playing bass pointed off to the side of the platform. Leon walked over and talked to Mr Balfort and he nodded and Leon nodded too and came back to the microphone.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo one more, boys and girls\u201d, Leon said, \u201cYou\u2019ve been a great audience!\u201d Everyone clapped and some kids yelled.<\/p>\n

I think that same boy yelled again, \u201cPlay \u2018Last Train to Clarksville\u2019!\u201d Leon looked out at the kid and wrinkled his nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever heard of it\u201d, he said, then looking at his other band members who just shook their heads. Then he looked back at the kid who yelled and said, \u201cSorry!\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked at the guy playing organ and said, \u201cTake it away, Sebastian.\u201d The organ guy played the first notes and then pounded the first chords of \u201c96 Tears\u201d while Leon snapped his fingers and swaying back and forth, moved up to the microphone stand, grabbed it and tilted it forward like I\u2019d seen some singers do on TV as he sang into it in his moany voice\u2026<\/p>\n

Too many teardrops for one heart to be crying
\nToo many teardrops for one heart to carry on<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rose and I, still close to each other but not touching, went back to our regular dancing. Rose shook her head to the \u201ctoo many\u201d words like she agreed with what he was singing, or at least she was acting like how he felt\u2026<\/p>\n

You’re way on top now since you left me
\nYou’re always laughing way down at me
\nBut watch out now, I’m gonna get there
\nWe’ll be together for just a little while
\nAnd then I’m gonna put you way down here
\nAnd you’ll start crying ninety-six tears<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It was one of those war between the boys and the girls songs. In the song, she stopped being his girlfriend and was now \u201con top\u201d, but he was planning to get her back, put her \u201cway down\u201d and make her cry. I guess a song about being happy and nice to your girlfriend wasn\u2019t very interesting\u2026<\/p>\n

Ninety-six tears, cry, cry, cry
\nCome on, baby, let me hear you cry now, all night long
\nUh, ninety-six tears, yeah, come on now
\nUh, ninety-six tears<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And the band was done. We all turned toward them and clapped and some kids yelled out. Ramona, still with Lance, did her whistle again. While I was still clapping I felt Rose\u2019s hand touch my arm, which kind of surprised me.<\/p>\n

She said, \u201cWe should go down to the cafeteria and get a pop. I told Myrna I\u2019d meet her down there.\u201d I nodded, not even thinking about MY friends who I\u2019d been with earlier. I noted that she said \u201cwe\u201d, like we were together now, and not just two people who decided to do some dancing together. Rose and I found our jackets and our shoes and put them on, Miss Hulot smiling at us as we walked by her out of the gym. Rose and I went down the stairs to the first floor and walked down the hallway towards the cafeteria. It was so strange that this was the same hallway I walked down each day at school, that I wouldn\u2019t DARE walk down next to a girl.<\/p>\n

The cafeteria had a lot of kids in it, sitting at tables, drinking stuff or eating popcorn or other snacks. I looked around to see who was there and who might see us together. I saw my friends Cal and Teddy, talking to each other off in a corner, but didn\u2019t try to wave at them or call out their names to get their attention. I\u2019d rather my friends didn\u2019t notice me with Rose, or at least not try to come over and talk to me when I was with her. Rose was looking around too, maybe thinking the same thing.<\/p>\n

I saw Abby, sitting across from some guy, maybe that Henry guy she swore she would ask to dance if I asked Rose. I wondered, since guys usually asked girls to dance, how she would get Henry to ask HER to dance. I hadn\u2019t thought to ask her when we\u2019d talked about it last Tuesday after math club. She saw me with Rose and did a big smile.<\/p>\n

I pointed out to Rose a big table in the far corner that didn\u2019t have any people sitting at it yet. She looked and nodded and we headed over there. We didn\u2019t see Myrna anywhere. I saw Beth, who was sitting with Josie and a bunch of other girls. We sat on either side of the table and looked at each other.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe should get something to drink\u201d, Rose said. I\u2019d forgotten that was the whole reason we\u2019d gone down to the cafeteria, but now I wasn\u2019t sure what I should do. In movies or TV shows, men always bought women stuff to drink. Even older boys did that with older girls, at least on TV shows. But if I asked Rose what she wanted and bought it for her, did that mean I was like trying to make her my girlfriend, or maybe she would at least THINK I was trying to do that. I didn\u2019t know what to say so I wasn\u2019t saying ANYTHING, which felt pretty stupid.<\/p>\n

Lucky for me Rose said, \u201cLet\u2019s go look at what they have.\u201d We can put our jackets on the chairs to save our seats.\u201d We walked over to where there was a grownup woman selling pop. She looked at the two of us and smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what can I get you two?\u201d she asked, then looking at Rose, \u201cYoung lady?\u201d That seemed to be the rule, that girls always went first before boys. I wasn\u2019t sure why, but that\u2019s just how things seemed to usually work.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get a Vernor\u2019s Ginger Ale\u201d, Rose said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you had it before?\u201d the woman asked, \u201cIt\u2019s kind of spicy!\u201d<\/p>\n

Rose nodded, looking a little mad and said, \u201cYes. It\u2019s my favorite.\u201d<\/p>\n

The woman pulled the bottle out of a big plastic tub of pop bottles and ice, opened the cap and handed it to Rose.<\/p>\n

The woman turned to me and asked, \u201cAnd how about you, young man?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have a Coke\u201d, I said. At home, if we had pop at all, other than mom\u2019s Tab, it was usually Seven-Up or Squirt, but never Coke. But there was something special about drinking Coke, though I wasn\u2019t sure what it was, so whenever I had the chance I would drink it, or Pepsi if they didn\u2019t have Coke.<\/p>\n

She found a bottle, pulled it out, popped the cap and gave it to me, then looked at me and said, \u201cTwenty cents, please\u201d, like she figured I was buying the pop for both of us because I was the boy, and that\u2019s what men and boys did for women and girls. I had a quarter in my pocket and gave it to her and she gave me a nickel back.<\/p>\n

As we walked back to our table Rose said, \u201cI would\u2019ve paid for mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry\u201d, I said, \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to\u2026\u201d, but I couldn\u2019t figure out how to finish the sentence. If I bought it for her did that mean I was saying that she was my girlfriend, but how could I say THAT was what I didn\u2019t mean?<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, silly\u201d, she said, and I noted she used THAT word, \u201cYou\u2019re just being nice.\u201d Yeah, I thought, that\u2019s what it meant, I was just being nice, and I was okay that she thought I was nice. Not sure I wanted to go so far as I had, teasing Abby the other day, when she said I was \u201cbad\u201d. I don\u2019t think that I was ready for Rose to say I was \u201cbad\u201d, even if it was in that way that was actually good.<\/p>\n

We sat across from each other at the table. I took a swig of my Coke. It tasted cold, bubbly and sugary, and just made me feel good like it always did. She took just a sip of her Vernor\u2019s. I don\u2019t know that I\u2019d ever had Vernor\u2019s Ginger Ale, though I\u2019d had the Canada Dry stuff, which I knew was different than Vernor\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cMmm it\u2019s so good\u201d, she said, \u201cDo you like Vernor\u2019s?\u201d I made a funny face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d, I said, \u201cI don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever had it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWow, never?\u201d she said, \u201cI\u2019d give you a taste but now it has my cooties all over it.\u201d I hadn\u2019t heard that \u201ccooties\u201d word in a long time, but hearing her say it was kind of neat, like when she called me \u201csilly\u201d. She was maybe talking to me like I was a regular person, one of her girlfriends, instead of some BOY on the other team.<\/p>\n

I actually WANTED to taste some, ESPECIALLY with her cooties all over it. But if I said that I did, she might think I was some kind of pervert, like when I told Joey back in the third grade that I\u2019d \u201cpull down my pants for Mary\u201d, and he told Mary and everyone else in our class, and the teacher, Mrs Rodney, said I shouldn\u2019t have said that, even though I had told Joey in private. I could NEVER let something like that happen again, so I said nothing. But I think me saying nothing made her think that she had said something bad, and she looked kind of embarrassed again, and she didn\u2019t say anything either. We just both drank our pops.<\/p>\n

\u201cTHERE they are\u201d, said Myrna, walking up to us, Rose nearly jumping out of her chair and getting Vernor\u2019s in her nose, covering her mouth and trying to cough softly. Myrna put her hands on her waist with her elbows out and looked at me, shaking her head slowly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you\u2019d never ask her\u201d, she said, which embarrassed ME AND Rose, though it also made it seem like she didn\u2019t hate me anymore. Instead of sitting there with us, she thought for a minute and then looked at Rose.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy mom\u2019s outside in the car\u201d, she said, kind of glancing over at me like I was on the other, boys, team again, \u201cWe gotta go.\u201d Rose nodded but looked sad and still embarrassed, like she didn\u2019t know what to say to me now, so she just raised her hand up and kind of waved it back and forth at me. Myrna got up and started to walk away and Rose got up and followed her, looking back at me a couple times.<\/p>\n

Wow, I thought, she was more embarrassed than I was.<\/p>\n

\u201cCooper\u201d, a girl\u2019s voice called out. I looked and it was Abby. \u201cIt\u2019s 9:30\u201d, she said, \u201cAnd my mom said she\u2019d be here to pick us up.\u201d We walked out of the cafeteria together and out the doors into the cool windy night.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I danced with Henry\u201d, she said, \u201cHe actually asked ME, but I would\u2019ve asked HIM if he hadn\u2019t, cause you and I swore.\u201d She looked at me and asked, \u201cSo you danced with ROSE?\u201d and she kind of made a silly face and wiggled her shoulders back and forth like Rose and I had made out rather than just danced. \u201cI saw you two slow dancing to \u2018Walk Away Renee\u2019 all huggy huggy.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was embarrassed again, and didn\u2019t say anything, wondering if ABBY now thought I was some kind of a pervert.<\/p>\n

I got less embarrassed because she said, \u201cThat\u2019s okay. When you slow dance with someone you have a crush on I think you\u2019re supposed to be huggy huggy like that. Henry didn\u2019t quite get that part.\u201d She wrinkled her nose like she was thinking.<\/p>\n

A horn honked and it was her mom, who pulled over and Abby and I got in the back seat.<\/p>\n

As she drove off, her mom asked us, \u201cSo did you have a good time?\u201d We both nodded but didn\u2019t say anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you dance?\u201d her mom asked, we both nodded again.<\/p>\n

\u201cWith each other?\u201d her mom asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u201d, we both said at the same time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Because Abby told me, I knew Rose\u2019s last name was Bertram, but I still hadn\u2019t talked to her. She was in my Homeroom, but she sat in the front of the room by the door next to Myrna. I sat in the back by the windows with Lance and the other cool boys. She was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[1777,13,1774,1773,1799,1800,1074,1775,1803],"class_list":["post-8004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adventure","tag-1960s","tag-ann-arbor","tag-autobiography","tag-childhood","tag-free-range-kid","tag-growing-up","tag-junior-high-school","tag-memoir","tag-tappan-junior-high-school"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8004"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8004\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8006,"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8004\/revisions\/8006"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}