{"id":3241,"date":"2011-12-26T12:52:36","date_gmt":"2011-12-26T20:52:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/?p=3241"},"modified":"2012-05-11T09:25:58","modified_gmt":"2012-05-11T16:25:58","slug":"stewardship-vs-adultism-in-the-real-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.leftyparent.com\/blog\/2011\/12\/26\/stewardship-vs-adultism-in-the-real-world\/","title":{"rendered":"Stewardship vs Adultism in the Real World"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Following up on several of my previous pieces (most recently \u201cAdultism vs Legitimate Adult Stewardship of Youth\u201d<\/a>), I think it is important to call out some real-world examples of what I consider the exercise of legitimate adult stewardship of young people. That versus what I would consider inappropriate \u201cadultism\u201d. I believe sorting out this dichotomy is critical to adult interaction with young people in our society going forward, whether parents with their kids or teachers with their students.<\/p>\n

My working definition of \u201cadultism\u201d is…<\/p>\n

The disrespect and discrimination against young people (simply because they are not adults) that exists beyond the legitimate responsibility of adults \u2013 parents, teachers and others \u2013 to provide guidance and a developmentally appropriate environment for young people to mature to adulthood. The abuse of adult privilege beyond what is legitimate adult stewardship of youth.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The applicable definition of the word \u201cstewardship\u201d in Wiktionary is…<\/p>\n

The act of caring for or improving with time.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And in Wikipedia…<\/p>\n

Stewardship is an ethic that embodies responsible planning and management of resources. The concept of stewardship has been applied in diverse realms, including with respect to environment, economics, health, property, information, and religion, and is linked to the concept of sustainability. Historically, stewardship was the responsibility given to household servants to bring food and drinks to a castle dining hall. The term was then expanded to indicate a household employee’s responsibility for managing household or domestic affairs. Stewardship later became the responsibility for taking care of passengers’ domestic needs on a ship, train and airplane, or managing the service provided to diners in a restaurant. The term continues to be used in these specific ways, but it is also used in a more general way to refer to a responsibility to take care of something belonging to someone else.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

My own current working definition, as I see the concept applied to adult interaction with young people, is…<\/p>\n

Facilitating a person’s development by creating an enriched environment, including keeping them safe until they can adequately fend for themselves. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So what does this look like in the real world? My first reaction is that I know it when I see it. But I think it is a useful and interesting exercise to try to call out some examples. So here is a list of ten random examples that came to me, framed in terms of parenting (but broadly applicable to teachers and other adult-youth mentors as well). I’m going to first call out an instance of what I would consider legitimate adult stewardship of youth (particularly of younger youth) and then a related behavior that I would say crosses the line into adultism.<\/p>\n

1. Stewardship:<\/strong> Making the effort to live in a safe neighborhood by a park so my kids (8 and 10) can go out and play on their own and walk or ride their bike to neighborhood friends’ houses or local stores and libraries. Adultism:<\/strong> Requiring my kids to clear everything they do with me and exercising veto power over which friends they can see based on my own projection of who my kids are and therefore what sort of person they should be playing with.<\/p>\n

2. Stewardship:<\/strong> Buying basic \u201cimagination\u201d toys like blocks, human figures, vehicles, Tinker Toys and other construction toys that I know from observing my kids that they love to play with. Then creating a space in the house where my kids can play to their hearts content with these toys. Adultism: <\/strong>Conditioning all toy purchases to my kids getting good grades in school or successfully executing what I have defined as good behavior.<\/p>\n

3. Stewardship:<\/strong> Having only healthy food in the house and no “junk food”. Adultism:<\/strong> Requiring my kids eat healthy food (and maybe a dessert as a reward for eating ones meal) but then eat a fair amount of junk food myself in front of them.<\/p>\n

4. Stewardship<\/strong>: Letting my kids watch the TV shows they want, except for those with graphic violence or adult sexual themes, but taking the time to explain the reason for those prohibitions and encouraging rather than discouraging dialogue with the kids on these rules. Then to help them develop their media savvy, noting the shows they watch, and particularly any commercials, to point out my take on persuasion tactics and underlying values conveyed or implied. Adultism:<\/strong> Exercising complete control over everything they watch and explaining that control only by such statements as \u201cbecause it is inappropriate\u201d or \u201cbecause I say so\u201d, without further explanation or without accepting further questions or discussion.<\/p>\n

5. Stewardship: <\/strong>Putting plastic safety plugs in all the power outlets so my very young kids do not accidentally electrocute themselves, and generally removing breakable objects from low tables and shelves that they can reach. Adultism:<\/strong> Leaving these plugs and breakable objects within my very young kids’ reach and then constantly chiding them not to touch them and even punishing them when they do.<\/p>\n

6. Stewardship:<\/strong> Not letting my kids use knives and other dangerous kitchen utensils until they have been taught how to use them and demonstrate a sufficient level of mastery to be safe. But then offering that teaching as soon as they show interest. Adultism:<\/strong> Teaching my kids to use kitchen knives but constantly badgering them with repeated instruction (beyond what you would do with an adult you have taught) even after they have demonstrated their ability to be safe.<\/p>\n

7. Stewardship:<\/strong> Giving my kids opportunities to go to libraries, museums, galleries, movies, concerts, sporting events, based on my perception of their interest and as feasible, but respecting their right to say no. Adultism:<\/strong> Taking my kids to venues that I feel they should go to even after they indicate from previous visits that they are not interested, and even chiding them for their lack of that interest.<\/p>\n

8. Stewardship:<\/strong> Being available as much as feasible to drive my kids to friends houses and other locations they want to go to but cannot get to on their own. Adultism:<\/strong> Maintaining tight control over who my kids visit and places they go beyond concerns for their safety. Dismissing their requests that don’t fit neatly into my ideal schedule without discussion or compromise.<\/p>\n

9. Stewardship: <\/strong>Making sure my kids demonstrate an ability to swim before letting them play or swim in the deep end of a pool on their own. Adultism:<\/strong> Making an arbitrary judgment that a kid is \u201ctoo young\u201d without actually observing their ability.<\/p>\n

10. Stewardship:<\/strong> Facilitating a group of young people (like Scouts, a youth group associated with a religious denomination, or something less formal) to follow a predetermined agenda based on the conventional expectations for the group. Adultism:<\/strong> Not seeking the consent or at the very least advice of the young people in the group in regards to the group’s agenda. Continuing to control every aspect of the group even when the young people indicate that they can exercise some or all of that control themselves.<\/p>\n

Reviewing the above list, I acknowledge there are some gray areas here. My point is not to preach but to pose some examples that I hope will clarify my conception of both \u201cstewardship\u201d versus adultism.<\/p>\n

As always I am interested in your thoughts, and I acknowledge that I am still formulating specifics on this dichotomy in my own thinking. I put my thoughts forward for the purpose of facilitating a continuing thoughtful discussion on this very important subject.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Following up on several of my previous pieces (most recently \u201cAdultism vs Legitimate Adult Stewardship of Youth\u201d), I think it is important to call out some real-world examples of what I consider the exercise of legitimate adult stewardship of young people. That versus what I would consider inappropriate \u201cadultism\u201d. I believe sorting out this dichotomy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[16],"tags":[1630],"class_list":["post-3241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-including-between-adults-and-youth","tag-stewardship-vs-adultism-in-the-real-world"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t